Thursday, November 25, 2010

Many an apology for the lack of correspondence. The weeks have been getting away with me I fear and I doubt that I will remember all that has happened but I shall try my very best!

I have been at home in the North for the last few weeks, appreciating the freedom that comes with living away from Mother and Father, although I do have to admit that as the nights draw longer I wish for simple home comforts. As much as I would like to divulge many a secret affair or scandalous liaisons, since the departing of the Earl of Steel City and his esteemed wife there has been little to cause any disturbances!

Of course I had the pleasure of the Scottish Earl whilst I was in the Shire but my acquaintances with men (other than the Jester) seems to have dwindled since my return up North. A rather depressing thought, especially as I have been socialising with the delightful rowers but it seems that I am not to their taste. Silly of me to have assumed otherwise, I know, but we are all jovial in each other's presence but I do not expect any more to come of it. And it saddens me to think that I am disappointed!

I did have a rather unfortunate run in with him. Not the Duke, (how I long to hear from him, or even just about him!) but he whom can be called none other than the catalyst of my degradation! Did I manage to hold my poise and give scant regard to my beating heart, honestly it is hard to say, for I felt that my heart was pounding in my throat and speaking seemed impossible.

There is no love lost between us, it is only the winter that reminds us of this time last year (or so I have to keep convincing myself). We spoke for barely a few minutes, as we exchanged a nod and a word about the weather. But we both know the connotations of those brief sentences and I dread to think how easy it would be for me to fall back in to his ar...


I daren't even think that suggestion, utter the words, let them seep into my mind. It is pitiful how weak willed I am when it comes to tender moments of the flesh! This year has not been going to plan.


D. S.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

How different in the Shire my life is. No wild parties, no unnecessary theatrics, not a whisper of a scandal (at least not this time round) and still it has been far from dull!

As my week at home in the new South Wing comes to an end, I am forced to acknowledge the depravity of my relationship with the Earl of Steel City. Regardless of the fact that I was the one intentionally being used, the fact that my reputation has spread so far and wide is a little more than disturbing.

One adultery, two kind men breaking their vows to their betrothed, and various other liaisons with suitable gentlemen and I seem to have acquired a reputation, something that I once remember caring about. I guess it is too late to change?

Well, another Masquerade Ball has come and gone, a birthday for a delightful friend and many a drink was consumed. Although I did have the pleasure of being introduced to a dark and brooding scholar; bright eyes and delicious cheekbones that are the most defining characteristic as he seems to care not for what he wears (dishevelled to say the least) but he has an intelligent mind, a thirst for knowledge, that I find intriguing. Not sure what more will happen as I return up North in the morn, but I am looking forward to my return in the Winter.

The Scottish Earl on the other hand has become a little too expectant of my part in his life. I managed to reacquire my ring and spent the day with him yesterday, even though he rejected my presence the day before. I do care about him, deeply; we laugh and play silly little games, sharing kisses and letting our hearts beat that tiny bit faster, have our blood pumping that much quicker.

I am looking forward to returning to the North. Bright fireworks to celebrate Guy Fawkes' demise this weekend and I do believe that there will be some form of drama. It isn't wrong of me to look forward to that, is it?

D. S.