The brunette has barely left my side, though it seems she has acquired a new beau of sorts, and unlike her previous liaisons this looks to be a little more serious and somewhat permanent... I did say I wouldn't talk about her much after her obsessive behaviour over me but she has mellowed over the past two months and honestly I don't know where I'd be without her now.
She has been my crutch while I cried my eyes out over a certain recently-turned-nineteen-year-old rower, and bolstered me to meet new men when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball in my bedchamber and feel sorry for myself.
Yet again the Captain and I are at odds and unsurprisingly it is from my own doing.
I spoke too soon.
A weekend walk amongst the waves, during the witching hour, began my demise as I couldn't ignore the longing in my chest... I had to discourage the Captain's advances, my heartache cannot take midnight kisses if they are to lead nowhere. Words were said that cannot be unheard and the Captain and I are no more. Again.
I did have the pleasure of the English gentleman on Valentine's Day... A stark contrast to last year! We shared many a story about our homeland and I have become rather attached to his outlandish personality. I could not have asked for a better distraction and seemingly though my men disappear rather suddenly at least my timing for a new one cannot be faulted!
I shall be seeing him tonight and I know he shall not disappoint me. I need someone to love just as much as everyone else... And the brunette's friend, though a wonderful one at that, is nothing more than a friend. I have a little soft spot for him, and I would hate to lose him. But there is no spark between us.
No more writing about the Captain from now on. I have moved on. Or at least I will do.
D. S.
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